Tali's Diary
by ahtlolevad72
Summary: After sleeping with Adam Ziva takes a look through her sister's things.


Author's Note: A special thanks to my lovely Beta Reader xXSilent-CrescendoXx

"Adam."

"Zi-va"

She was warm, content, and sweaty when he rolled off her. She was glad she had chosen to stay in one of the guest rooms of her father's estate instead of the room from her childhood. She didn't think she could stomach having sex with all her old toys surrounding her. G-I Joe probably wouldn't approve of her, rather risqué, exploits. Adam drifted off to sleep almost immediately, but Ziva lay awake.

The warm contented post-orgasmic blur was gone. The sweat that had once warmed her was now making her overly exposed body cold. Shivering, she carefully arose from the bed and gathered up her clothes from the floor. It was funny, she had reverted back to her old style; adopting the clothes common for women in the Middle East instead of the sleeker more "American" style she had picked up from her time at NCIS. As usual she preferred loose flowing clothes to sleep in. She liked clothes that could also be worn during the day so if needed she could have a quick getaway and escape without suspicion.

There was also the need for intimidation; she couldn't fight off an attacker wearing flannel pajamas.

Her father's death had unsettled her, reminding her yet again that she was never safe. She had been becoming lax about her bedtime clothing, and there were some nights when she felt safe enough to sleep with her window open or a gun resting on her bedside table instead of grasped in her hand.

Tonight the windows were barred shut and locked. Her gun was loaded and beside her bed. She dressed herself and sunk back into bed next to Adam. She sighed and curled up on her side looking at his rising and falling chest. The lonely sinking feeling had found its way back in to her stomach again with Adam asleep. The night was quiet and cold; one of those nights where you feel like no one else is out there no matter who is sleeping next to you. The house was full of people, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, a wide array of Israeli government officials, and a large number of Mossad operatives, all of whom had come to pay their respects to the late Director.

But Ziva felt alone; he was after all her father.

Ziva closed her eyes willing the thoughts to subside, but the pang of the loneliness in her stomach kept her wide awake. She needed to get up and move.

Slowly she slipped out of bed and crept across the floor. It creaked loudly as she reached the doorway and Ziva paused, her heart pounding relentlessly, willing Adam to remain asleep. Fortunately he did, and with a sigh she stepped out into the long hallway. Carefully, Ziva plodded along to the end of the hallway taking the stairs up to the third floor. On the way she passed a painting of what looked like a fat tanned woman. Cringing, Ziva cursed her father's taste in art.

She finally stopped at the small white door at the end of the hallway.

The careful strokes of the Hebrew letters טַלְיָה were engraved on it, and Ziva momentarily flashed back to a happier time when she and Ari had taken several days to dig the intricate Hebrew letters into Tali's bedroom door. It had been so long since she seen Tali's room. Almost 5 years. Ziva grasped the handle but was hesitant to push in, knowing how angry she would be if her father had thrown out Tali's things. But when Ziva entered she sighed in relief. The room was exactly as she had left it 5 years ago. There was a small twin bed in the middle of the room, a simple chest of drawers to the right, and a fancy wooden mirror propped next to the left wall. All very beautiful, but the real reason for Ziva's entry was in the slightly ajar closet. The inside held several boxes full of Tali's things.

Gently Ziva lifted the boxes from the closet and set them across the floor in front of her. Reverently, she carefully opened the smallest box. It held Tali's personal documents like report cards, a birth certificate, and the occasional talent show award ribbon. Taking care to study each item Ziva sorted them methodically. When she came upon Tali's diaries Ziva opened them and began to flip through the pages and pages of writings. She caught glimpses of things like Shabbat dinner with Abba, Ari came home from his mission safely, Abba is out of the country again, but when Ziva came across her own name written in Tali's delicate, girly script she stopped.

_Ziva has been working very hard to please Abba lately. She has become more competitive in training, and instead of coming in to read to me at night she has been closing herself off in her room learning French or practicing her newly learned boxing moves. When I asked her why she wouldn't come to read to me anymore, Ziva said I was too old for stories and that I must stop being so childish. However, I know that sometimes when Ziva is in the woods instead of practicing tracking like Abba instructs she will swing in the trees and pretend she is an acrobat in the circus. She can be just as childish as I am. _

Ziva smiled Tali had always been clever and able to see right through Ziva's attempts at toughness. She turned the page hungry for more.

_Abba and Imah are fighting again. After Imah came home it only took a few minutes before they sent Ziva and I upstairs to our rooms. Knowing what was about to come, Ziva shut her door tight and turned up her French tapes to an earsplitting level. It kept shrieking "D'où venez-vous?" as Imah and Abba grew louder and louder. The sounds of pots and pans being thrown scared me enough that I rushed to knock on Ziva's door. "Ziva, Ziva, please please open up!" I called, but her French tapes were blasting loudly. Abba and Imah eventually quieted down, but Ziva did not open up her door until after sunset._

Ziva brushed the tears off her cheeks. She had never known. She remembered that day distinctly because a few days later her father had left when her mother discovered that he had been having an affair with Orli. Her ears had rung from the French phrases, but foolishly she believed that it might drown out the sounds of the fighting below. She had never known that Tali had knocked outside the door. Still interested, Ziva pressed on in the diary.

_It stormed tonight; a wild thunderstorm with lightning and thunder that shook the house. Ziva hates thunderstorms so well past bedtime she slipped into my room and curled up on the floor next to my bed. I pretended to be asleep, knowing that she would go away if she knew I was aware. When I woke up again Ziva was still on the floor shaking slightly as the winds continued to whip through the house. "Ziva." I whispered "will you get in bed with me I am afraid." Ziva didn't hesitate to scurry under the covers. "It is just a silly thunderstorm" she said, but when the lightning cracked again she shivered with fear. We lay face to face eyes open staring at each other for a few minutes. Her eyes fluttered a little before fully opening again and sheepishly she asked me quietly "Tali will you sing." I smiled and softly began to sing the Shema like Imah used to sing to me when I was little._

_Laila Tov_

_Hashkiveinu_

_Shchav Bni_

_Noumi Noumi_

_Rozhinkes Mit Mandlen_

_Slowly Ziva's shivering stopped and she fell asleep. In the morning I had to cover her up with blankets and lie to Abba saying she had taken a run. Otherwise he would have punished Ziva. Mossad operatives do not sleep in their sister's beds. _

The sun was coming up as Ziva finished the first of Tali's diaries. Before she grabbed the other diaries and heading back to the room she was sharing with Adam, Ziva cleaned up the rest of Tali's things taking special care to place all of the documents right so they wouldn't wrinkle. Holding the leather-bound books Ziva slipped out of Tali's room and headed off to the guest room. Yawning she reasoned she could get a few hours of sleep in before the Aunts would wake her up and she would have to tend to the funeral planning.


End file.
